Friday, April 3, 2009
Painting My Picture Of Panic Attacks
I just wanted to Thank all of you who visited my post about not feeling well. It is hard for me to explain these attacks, but I found good old" Wikipedia" describe it pretty well. If you are interested in what they have to say about it click here. I also went on Web MD's site and did not care for their explanation as well as Wikipedia's. I was surprised to see how many different sites there were about panic attacks. Some even listed them as a "common" ailment. I personally feel I fit into the category of them being inherited. My Dad's side of the family had many different forms of anxiety and fears. I first experienced them in 7th grade when I had to get up and give a history report in front of the class. Something like stage fright. In 1963 when this happened, I didn't know who to tell, or how to get help, so I tried to just avoid any situation that I thought would cause this attack to happen again. Then in the mid 80's they became pretty severe and I went to the Dr. and got no where as far as getting help. I went to several doctors and only got beta blockers to try and prevent them from happening. I took them for awhile but found they left me feeling having no feelings at all. If you have ever taken any medications, you know that most come with some kind of side effect. I educated myself the best I could and found that meditation and deep breathing and creative visualization were the best things for me. I think I have been maybe a little bit too busy lately and haven't been keeping my thoughts positive...and the attacks came back like an unexpected tornado. I was at a family function this past Sunday and had a few attacks and my mind just went blank. I couldn't think of how to do the most basic things, like cut a square of fabric. It is extremely embarrassing to have these in front of people, and them not having any idea what is wrong with you. Rather than just tell people "Hey, I am having a panic attack", I just try my best to cope with the situation and not bother anyone. When I had these in the 80's, I would be at a grocery store and be in the check out lane and this overwhelming fear came over me to leave immediately. I left my groceries in the cart and went home. Now I know a little more about them, and know that if I just wait for a little while, the feelings of extreme fear will settle down and I don't have to leave to get relief. I also, feel a little better knowing that these days no one will lock me in a looney bin for having these. I think years ago, that was a big fear of mine. I thought I was the only one who had these. Now I know I am not alone. Thanks you all very much for your kind words. I will continue on with some creative blogging again soon.