Wednesday, April 22, 2009


This is a picture of a store front window down on Main Street.
Aren't the cats cute?
And I make, or have made, those sock monkeys, but never a green one.
I make the red heeled ones.
You can still purchase those red heeled socks from Hobby Lobby to make the monkey.
Anyway, the point of this post today is not about the cats or the monkey.
It is about my reflection in the window.
I am not sure at what age this happened for me, but somewhere along my ageing process I started to look back on my life with some regrets.
Regrets of having hurt someones feeling.
Sometimes maybe in a small way..... sometimes in a large way.
I have always wondered if HELL is "feeling the feelings" of a person that you have hurt.
The sorrow of realizing that it was your words or actions that caused that person so much pain.
I have talked to a few people about my thoughts that I am sharing here today, and have been surprised to find out how many people there are that don't experience these feelings.
Some people think that almost everything in their life that has gone sour has always been someone elses fault, or bad luck or something.
I do think that most of us do the best we can with every situation that comes along, but if you fail to see that sometimes maybe you were the one that may have made a mistake...ummm.
It is a painful process to have to experience these feelings, but I usually pray to my creator that when I am going in the wrong direction, I get some assistance to get back on the right path. And when I have hurt someone that I find out about it and try to make amends to them.
Either in a direct way or in an indirect way, I try to make up for it.
Although I am a practicing Catholic I don't use the confessional the way that perhaps I should.
I was not born a Catholic, and I am not sure if that has anything to do with why I don't go or not.
I think I am just more comfortable with a personal one on one relationship with my creator.
So much for "Brenda's Philosophy" for today.
Tune in on Friday or Saturday for the "Quilt Show" pictures.


Renie Burghardt said...

I'm like you, Brenda. I often feel very bad for some of the things I have said or done, to cause pain to someone else. But I am human, and make mistakes often. I will tell the person I'm sorry, and ask for forgiveness. But not all the time. And I forgive others who have hurt me. Most, of the time!

I am a practicing Catholic as well, and usually go to confession once a year. Sometimes, I get chided for that in the confessional. :-)

Love the reflections in the store window.

Have a great day! The sun is shining, we'll be in the mid-70s today, and I'm going out to eat Chinese food!



Rudee said...

I think what you're feeling is called empathy. Sometimes, many of us don't need knives to cut our food because our tongues are sharp enough. Being able to make amends is important, but it's also important to forgive one's self.

I think when we love ourselves, this shines forth in all that we do...and say. I'm not talking about the kind of self absorbed self love either, I'm talking about respect and self worth.

I liked this post and your reflection for the day. And I ADORE that green sock monkey. I think I must have him for a good friend of mine. Can you find out his price??? And where I can order him? Pretty please with cherries on top...I've never seen his equivalent.

Patty said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. Just remember, we're only human, not perfect. Start each day new, and try not to dwell on what you might have done to someone else. Each day try to remember not to do anything you will regret later. That way you don't have to look back and wonder and worry.

Gramma Ann said...

The thing I liked best about your "Reflections" picture, is that we get a glimpse of Brenda. Oh! I enjoyed seeing the monkey and kittens, but i liked seeing you best!

I think we all are guilty of saying and doing things we wish we never would have said or done. But it's never to late to be human. Too often we seek perfection. And despair when we don't find it. There is glory in all facets of humanity. In our struggles. Our achievements. Our failures. Our Imperfections. Perfection can be an aim. But, sometimes we have to forgive ourselves and move on. Sometimes we're our own harshest critics. Even more judgemental than our enemies. Failure to forgive anchors us, prevents us from moving forward. acknowledge mistakes. Learn from them. resolve not to repeat them. Then unshackle yourself.

Have a wonderful Wednesday, I think we are to get some warmer weather the rest of the week, finally!

♥ Ann ♥

Betty Flocken said...

I've never MET you, but I can't see that you've ever deliberately hurt someone's feelings. I'm like you in that I really think if we don't take the responsibility for the bad things, we'll never learn or grow. I have those feelings sometimes, worried about the people I've hurt. All we can do now..if we're out of touch with the people we may have hurt, is to reach out to the next guy we meet who may be hurting. I like you Brenda, and I love the photo of your reflection. I would try not to focus too much on who you may have hurt and remember the people you've made feel better... ME for instance! :)

Winifred said...

Like you I hate it when I've hurt someone and try to amke up for it. I'm like Renie in that I don't go to confession very often. Not sure why it's never a bad experience in fact we often end up laughing when I admit I usually go before I go on holiday - just in case the plane crashes. What a mercenary!

I find it easier to forgive other people than myself. It's what I call Catholic guilt and it's so destructive and such a waste of time. I love your photo, wish we could see more of you!

Sandy said...

Brenda, there isn't a night go by, that i don't look at my own part in family dramas etc. I believe, feel, that if one doesn't see that it is a "dance", a cocreation...that is when looking at our life review, so to speak is painful. I KNOW I have always had a part in stuff, whether because of judgement of another and not wanting to see it in my own self...

I'm with you and what you are feeling because I am so like that.

Even with some drama ongoing with one of the grandkids mom (you know who I mean)...and it is never ending....I have to take responsibility for so much in this situation, if only because I keep it going in my thoughts.

Brenda said...

It was nice to here that you experience these feelings at time also. I think they are way of cleansing ourselves while we are still in human form on this earth. Thanks for your kind words.
Hugs to you

Forgiving myself has always been hard but I am working on it. The little monkey is on his way to your house. I mailed him yesterday. He is cute! Thanks for being a great friend!

That is why I don't go to confession I think...because I do try not to do anything that I will have to regret later. It is hard to be a perfectionist and realize that it is just not possible to be nice all of the time. Thanks for your kind words of encouragement.

You really said some awesome things. Those were great words of wisdom. I do need to Unshackle myself and fly free.....
Thank you for everything you said. It meant a lot to me.
Hugs to you

Aww...that was so sweet for you to point out the nice things I should think about. You like me, you really like me...that was a line from a Sally Field speech at the Oscars one year. You are just so sweet! Thanks and I feel the same way about you!

I think I forgive others before myself also. I wish I had a more logical mind instead of so much emotions. It is a bear getting old!
Hugs to you Winifred!

I identified so much with what you said! The "dance of cocreation" true. I am not much of a poet, but something about that phrase had a poetic feel to it. I do need to know my part in things to see the whole picture properly. Thanks for being such a great friend.

Love to you I am off to the Quilt Show!

cat's momma said...

Reading your thoughts, I find that I can really relate to what you said. And I definitely believe that "hell" is when you've put yourself in the place of someone you may have hurt and really feel that pain. That empathy allows us to be aware of what we're doing and try to not repeat it.

Delphine said...

Great reflections Brenda, in both senses of the word! Yes, I too have regrets about things spoken in haste, actions taken without enough advance thought. Sorry is not an easy word to say. All I can say to you is, don't beat yourself up -- it is good that you are aware!

MYRA said...

You have too much time for thinking/reflecting!!!! 8-)
... Seriously though, I too have the same sort of reflections as you in my life... I think those that don't share those feeling of hurting others are perhaps few and far between, or at least I'd like to think so!
Confession? I've been brought up Catholic, and don't go to confession very often. I like my direct line to the heavens... 8-)

Great photo!
My gazebo stitchery is about 3/5 done...

Rosy said...

I except your art challenge, I had chosen two pictures, the red flowers and the rooster.

That Green Monkey Sock is adorable, I never attempt at making these Monkeys, my mother used to make them in different socks colors when I was a kid.

My first visit to your blog, follow from CC's Blog.

Clifford 1994 to 2009

Clifford   1994 to 2009
The Best Dog Ever