Saturday, February 21, 2009

Women Through The Years

This collection of thimbles is from a series Avon put out in 1982. I have always been fascinated with ladies fashions, even though I am by no means, a fashionably dressed woman. I have a memory of being in Art class in High School and having an assignment to draw an Advertisement. My ad was for a Ski Vacation. I remember having fun drawing the outfit the lady had on in my picture. My teacher gave me an A and gave me just enough compliments to at least help me remember this particular time in my life. Funny how we remember insults and compliments through the years. I think it may have been about that time that I started noticing clothing and magazines and catalogs. I may have had a brief ambition in my mind to become a fashion designer. But it was just a thought.
When I decided to take this picture of these thimbles and talk about women through the years, I started doing a little research on the first lady in the series who represents 1890. If I decide to follow through with this, it could be very lengthy and maybe not all that interesting. Well, I actually do think it would be interesting to me, so I may do it. Many times when I want to journal something, I don't especially feel like doing anything very personal about our daily lives, but would like to just write about something I am interested in.
I love the ladies clothing in "Gone With The Wind" and "My Fair Lady". I think my favorite outfit of Scarlet's in "Gone With The Wind" was the blue one that she wore when she was seen hugging Ashley at the lumberyard. Then she becomes a scandal and Rhett makes her put on the flashy red one for the party. Fiddle dee dee, was just a hug! In "My Fair Lady" my favorite dress was the black and white one with the very large hat. Audrey Hepburn was a real beauty wasn't she?
Next time I have time to ramble I will try to do a little story about women in 1890. I hope I can find out something more interesting than what I ran across earlier. They sounded like they didn't have a second of time for themselves. I think I'll try to find out something about the wealthy ones. They were the ones that most likely had the prettier clothing.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Annual Wait

I had to stand in line for at least an hour today to get our license plates renewed. Stickers, I have mailed in, in the past, but Missouri has changed their license plates this year and so you have to go to the office to get them. A few people had to get out of the line, the lady in front of me said she felt sick, and the lady behind me forgot her insurance card. I, however came somewhat prepared. All my little goodies were in a folder. Both insurance cards, personal property receipt, emissions and safety inspections, and checkbook and drivers license and pen in hand...waiting and waiting and waiting. No one felt very chatty, so I let my mind wander. I was thinking about my Grandpa. I am pretty sure that he never had a drivers license, or not the kind where you had to take a test and then renew it. I think he just went and bought one. He was born in 1887 and died in 1979, so you would think that somewhere in those later years, he would have had to go pass some tests. I am not remembering that he did. He lived in a very small town, so maybe they didn't make much of it. The only place he drove to was to the store and over to nearby relatives. Aww....that makes me long for a few acres out in the country to retire on. Buy a riding lawn mower, maybe have a goat or two. Some chickens and maybe one cow. Grow fresh vegetables in the summer and have an apple tree. Rolling hills, a few shade trees to sit under. I'll build us a swing to sit under the shade tree. The grand kids can run around and play hide and seek, and skip rocks at the pond. We'll have window fans and a great big porch with rocking chairs. I can hear the crickets rubbing their little legs together now.
So anyway, I have been keeping myself very busy these past few days, and just thought I had better spend a small amount of time talking about the days of my life. Nothing real interesting.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Pocket Taser Stun Gun: A Great Gift for the Wife

This is story from the Good Clean Funny web site. I heard this story today and thought it was worth sharing. Sounds about like something I would do! Enjoy!

This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary.

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser. The consequences of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effects on her assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-A batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?!!!

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference -- pretty cute, really -- and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries, thinking to myself, "No possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, "Don't do it, master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a Taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative.

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up, and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there???

My triceps, right thigh, and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt as if it had been shot up with Novocain and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

Still in shock,

Clifford 1994 to 2009

Clifford   1994 to 2009
The Best Dog Ever