Saturday, February 25, 2012

Grandparent Cards


Whenever my mind is in a bad place...I try to find something humorous to turn my thoughts around.  I have been in a very negative, bitchy space lately, probably because of my knee pain and other health related set backs.  So...I pulled out some of these grandparent cards and decided to write about this one today.
Without a doubt...there is one day that stands out for me as the funniest ever.  I have two Aunts, sisters of my Dad, (now deceased) that I went shopping with one evening.  Aunt Helen was a shopping addict, I think.  She was always the first one in line (sometimes at 7 am) for Dollar Day Sales at Famous Barr and JCPenneys.  If you are my age or older you may remember a TV show called Supermarket Sweep from the 60's where teams had a certain amount of time to throw things into their cart and win a prize.  Well...just picture someone very determined to rush in the store...as the doors opened...run to all the tables of sale items and grab everything you thought you could and shop till you dropped.  There was no way you could keep up with her...unless you were on roller skates.  Then there is my Aunt Betty.  Aunt Betty had a lot of phobias, (as do I and other family members).  One of her phobias was riding on an escalator or an elevator.  One evening during the Christmas season I went shopping with these two.  My Aunt Helen wore wigs a lot and had one on that night.  Off she goes...as soon as we got in the store.  She drove, and I was afraid we would lose her, so I kept reminding my Aunt Betty that we had to keep an eye on her.  Aunt Betty didn't take me too serious, because she was standing there admiring an article of clothing.  I turned around to find Aunt Helen and she was on her way up the escalator.  I freaked out...and grabbed my Aunt Betty's arm and said "Come on...she got away from us."  I forgot about her phobia and pulled her onto the escalator.  Right away she totally freaked out.  She raised her arms straight up in the air...let out a blood curdling scream...put her out stretched arms on the floor of the stairs...butt sticking up in the air....people trying to get away from us.....I ran past them to get Helen's attention before she got off....I grabbed her arm and said.."Will you look at what she is doing down there.."  She whipped her head around and her wig flew off and landed on the floor below.  We managed to all get off the escalator somehow in one piece.  Helen's hair was standing up all over the place with bobby pins in and out of places, dangling around.  She was determined to go back and get the wig.  We found some stairs and went back down and chased after her wig for what seemed like 30 minutes.  The Christmas shoppers did not seem to notice the wig being kicked all over the place as they walked.  All three of us were making dives at the thing...in between hysterical laughter.  We finally retrieved it...Helen put the thing on and we all collapsed laughing.  We had to leave after that because I laughed so hard I wet myself.  It really was one of those times...that you had to be there and know my Aunts to really appreciate the humor.

5 comments:

Star said...

That's very funny, I can just picture the scene (especially as I recently bought a wig for myself!)
Our lives seems similar and yes, I do remember that TV programme, at least the British equivalent.

Renie Burghardt said...

OMG, you should be a comedy writer, Brenda! This was too funny. I can't stop laughing.

Have a nice Sunday.

Sandy said...

HAHAHAH, that is too funny. I really got a kick out of reading that and the visuals - ohh..I could see it all.

haha.

Rudee said...

You pain a wonderful picture with your words, but I still would have paid any price to see it all happen in person! They sound like they were a handful.

The Bug said...

That sounds just like my mom & her best friend Sue - oh man it was always a trip to go shopping with them!

Clifford 1994 to 2009

Clifford   1994 to 2009
The Best Dog Ever